If you’re looking for a little inspiration to help you get out of a funk and stop feeling sorry for yourself so you can live your best life every single day, this post is for you!
While we all go through periods in our lives when it feels as though the whole world is against us and we can’t seem to do anything right, it becomes problematic when we get stuck in this way of thinking. Self-pity can be extremely self-destructive, and can negatively impact not only the way you feeling about yourself, but the relationships you have with others. It can also sabotage your goals, and the longer you play the self-blame game, the harder it is to pull yourself out of it.
If you want to know how to stop feeling sorry for yourself once and for all, these tips and ideas are for you!
7 Ways to Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself
1. MAKE A LIST
If you want to stop feeling sorry for yourself, a good first step is to figure out what’s causing you to feel this way in the first pace. Write down all of the negative things you say to yourself over the course of a few days or a week. You’ll probably notice a common theme along the way, and the idea is to identify the one overarching negative statement you tell yourself (i.e. ‘I’m not capable’, ‘no one likes me’, ‘bad things always happen to me’, etc.) so you have a good starting place.
Once you’ve identified the area you struggle with most, create an affirmation that is the exact opposite. Remember to use factual, positive, and present-tense words (this list of confidence affirmations for women might inspire you!), and repeat this affirmation each time your inner critic starts playing mind games with you.
2. CHALLENGE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Another great strategy to try if you want to stop feeling sorry for yourself is to get into the habit of challenging self-deprecating thoughts as soon as they occur. Of course, this can be difficult to do in the moment, but if you’ve already taken the time to record your negative thought processes over several days (as recommended in point 1 above), you can use this as practice. If you challenge yourself to reframe each of the self-pitying thoughts in your list, you will become more comfortable and familiar with the process, making you better equipped to refute self-sabotaging thoughts as they occur in the future.
3. CREATE NEW GOALS
Once you’ve figured out WHY you’re feeling sorry for yourself and gotten into the habit of challenging self-pitying thoughts and beliefs, spend some time setting new, short-term goals to help lift yourself out of your funk. For example, if you keep getting passed up for promotions at work, you might enroll in a class to improve a particular skill set, offer to take on additional tasks to help groom yourself for new responsibilities, and/or seek out the help of a mentor to discuss other opportunities you may be missing. Setting small, achievable targets that can be tracked and measured over time is a great way to stay motivated, particularly for people who tend to feel discouraged and overwhelmed in the face of larger, more complex goals.
4. SET A TIMER
If you follow me on Instagram, you probably know that I’m obsessed with my Peloton bike, and that I enjoy sharing all of the motivational and inspirational things my favorite instructors preach while I’m slaying my rides. They always seem to know exactly what I need to hear each time I clip into my bike, and last week Alex Toussaint said something that really stuck with me. He said that one of his goals this year is to be more mindful of how much he allows negativity to impact his day. He gave himself a rule whereby if something negative happens, he will only allow it to take up a maximum of 60 minutes of his day.
If you want to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time, consider giving this strategy a try. Each time you feel yourself engaging in self-sabotaging thoughts or beliefs, allow yourself a set amount of time to work through your feelings, and then let it go. Imposing a time limit will force you to deal with your emotions in the moment rather than allowing them to control your mood for the rest of the day.
5. PRACTICE DAILY GRATITUDE
Another great way to stop feeling sorry for yourself is to get into the habit of writing down 3-5 things you’re grateful for each day. I like to do this first thing in the morning as I find it helps to set the tone for the day ahead. You can write your gratitude list on a piece of paper or in the notes app on your smartphone, but if you need a bit more structure, I really love The Five-Minute Journal. It’s a simple yet powerful tool you can use to train your brain to start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude so you can learn how to be a happy and positive person. And it only takes 5 minutes to complete! It helps to start the day on a positive note and encourages you to create change from within while also reminding you to count your blessings and resolve conflicts before the day is done. It’s a powerful tool you can use to shift your focus and concentrate on the positives instead of the negatives, which is key for those who are trying to stop feeling sorry for themselves all the time.
Find out more about The Five-Minute Journal here.
6. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE
Our lives are a direct result of the people we spend our time with, so if you’re trying to stop feeling sorry for yourself, you need to be mindful of how your interactions with others impact you. Misery loves company, and if you find a family member, friend, or co-worker contributes to (or causes) your feelings of self-pity, you may want to limit the time you spend with them. Of course, we can’t always avoid the people who trigger us to feel badly about ourselves, but we can find coping strategies to ensure we don’t allow their negative energy to take up too much residence in our minds and spirits. Going for a walk, talking to a friend, and writing in a gratitude journal can help offset negative interactions.
7. BE KIND TO OTHERS
If you want to know how to stop feeling sorry for yourself, my final tip is to seek out opportunities to do nice things for others. Showing kindness can do wonders for your soul, and has been shown to boost self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. Giving someone a compliment, paying for someone’s morning coffee, sending an encouraging text to a friend, holding the door open for a co-worker, sending flowers to a family member, and offering a warm smile are all simple examples of ways you can show kindness throughout your day. Remember that the act doesn’t need to be huge, but it does need to be intentional!
If you’re looking for tips to help you stop feeling sorry for yourself, I hope the ideas in this post inspire you! Remember to challenge negative thoughts, adopt an attitude of gratitude, surround yourself with the right people, and find a way to sprinkle a few random acts of kindness into your day for good measure!